On Tuesday this past week, I submitted for a small role in a feature film. I have been submitting like crazy for any and all background roles I find, but I usually get too nervous to submit for featured roles. I received the casting call […]
This past Monday I got to work as a production assistant on the same film I worked on a couple weeks ago. We were in the same location but this day was much different than the first day I was there. The first day was […]
(This is a post I wrote back in August 2018 but for some reason did not publish it. So here you go. 🙂 )
Early this year, I decided I was done. Done with feeling miserable at a job that no longer served me. Done with feeling stuck in a mediocre life. Done with letting my fears hold me back from all the things I longed to do.
So I started making changes and taking chances. This summer was chock full of fear-inducing activities that I signed up for:
- The 48 Hour Film Festival. A former coworker of mine messaged me a few weeks before the festival and told me his friend was looking for actors. I said I would be able to help out (only because I knew it would be good for me). My initial fear was that I would not act well enough and the director would get mad at me for ruining his film/chance to win. Also, with this festival, the director has to do all the planning/writing/shooting/editing/etc. within 48 hours. For the actors, that means you have no idea who your character is or what your lines are until you arrive for filming. I really hate not being able to pre-plan for my performance, so that added to my initial fear of really sucking it up. The night before filming I also learned that I would be singing in the film, which of course made me even more nervous. Oh, and did I mention I didn’t know anyone that would be there? So that kicked my social anxiety into high gear. But, I really had nothing to worry about. The cast and crew were so nice and welcoming and were a blast to work with. The director told me I really brought my character to life and that he would love to work with me again. I got quite a few compliments from the cast/crew. This short film was definitely one of my favorite projects to work on so far.
- My “Acting for Camera” class. This was my first-ever acting class. It was also an hour and a half away, so the stress of driving on top of potentially looking like a fool in front of others made me extremely nervous. But, the teacher and my classmates were all so nice and encouraging. I was even invited by the teacher to take the advanced class! For the first time, I really felt like I could actually be a decent actor. As much as I’ve wanted to be an actor, I’ve always felt like it was something I would never actually be good at. This summer is changing that.
- Being an extra in a movie. I signed up to play the role of “yoga student.” I was nervous that they would give us really hard poses that I could either not do or not hold for long and that the director would be mad at me for it. I also had to drive two hours and through a big city to get there (I hate big city driving). However, there was very little traffic and the director gave us the easiest yoga poses there are. I got to sit in my yoga pants and eat free food and be in a movie. Win win win. 🙂
- Offering to transcribe my friend’s song into sheet music. This isn’t something I want to do career-wise, but I have been thinking that this would be a good skill to have (I have lots of song ideas pop into my head and I need to transfer them from my head to paper). So when my friend asked if I could do this for him, I told him I would try it. I was afraid I would not be able to do it and he would be mad at me for wasting time trying when he could have found someone more skilled to help him out. Long story short, I transcribed the first recording in like 15 minutes and only had to reach out for help on the second one because the deadline was fast approaching and I wanted to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. But man was I proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something I’d been wanting to try. Normally my incredibly self-conscious self would have said, “There’s no way I can do that.”
If I had given in to fear said no to all these opportunities, I would have missed out on all that experience. I am a better actor/more confident person now. It’s true what they say: Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Yesterday, I spent almost 11 hours standing on the sidelines of a makeshift football field, as the wind blew and the temperature steadily dropped, holding a saxophone and wearing a marching band uniform (which, as you former and current band kids may know, is too […]