Self-Doubt and an Answered Prayer Deferred
A few posts back I wrote about how I was ignoring the answers to my prayers. After that, I didn’t ignore them, per se, I just put them off for a bit (…several months).
One thing I need more of (and I’m sure no one else can relate to this) is money. I began looking for part-time jobs, but was finding it difficult to find one that would work with my full-time job/private lessons schedule. Around the time I started praying for help, I had three friends ask me for private ukulele lessons. Since I am self-taught, I was hesitant. I don’t want to teach someone the wrong thing and mess them up.
Still, I was interested, so I bought a beginner uke book and began working through it. I re-researched proper strumming technique and how to hold it correctly. But alas, I am filled with an incredible amount of self-doubt and decided I was not good enough to teach anyone ukulele.
I did, however, continue to work on learning songs for myself, which I would sometimes practice while tuning ukes at work. I began getting compliments on my playing. One guy asked what song I was playing (I was actually improvising) and said it sounded great. One guy from a local band told me I was hired. 🙂 Several compliments later, I finally, finally, decided that hey, maybe I am better at uke than I give myself credit for (it only took me eleven years of playing…).
It still took a couple months for me to make it Facebook official, but tonight I posted that I am now offering ukulele lessons.
My sister told me a while back to not discredit the knowledge I have. She told me the things that seem like common knowledge to me (i.e. music stuffs) are not common knowledge to other people. (Which should have been painfully obvious to me but was not.) She was right. I worked through the beginning uke book in a matter of days, because I already know how to read music and uke basics. Other people don’t, and I am more than qualified to show them what I already know.
If you see a recurring theme in your life (like I did with the uke stuff), pay attention. It might just be exactly the answer you’ve been looking for.